In our minds we are all schizophreniacs

Every person is a separate world. A reality bubble. Those reality bubbles sometimes overlap and we think that it's the same world. But it isn't. Our wolds are similar only because we were taught to think like that. Our world was shaped by our parents and society. But it could be different. It could be anything. Limitless world. We hold the same consensus what the world is like. But it's only consensus, and not the world itself. „Map is not the territory.“ Model is not reality. The world doesn't care what our consensus is. It is not how we see it. In reality there is no red, green or blue color. There are only electromagnetic waves. There is no sound. Yes, no sound, no music. Only vibration of air molecules, which we interpret as sound. But it is also possible to SEE that vibration. To see the music. To touch the music. To taste the music. To smell. To feel. To get burned from music.

Anyway, what is reality? Does it exist? Is there such a thing as objective reality? How could we see it? How could we experience the world as it is? Or maybe we have to try to be the world ourselves? It's interesting feeling, I have tried that. You are the world and everything is inside you, nothing exists outside. It's probably hard to sanely imagine how can there be nothing. But I haven't said that I felt that sanely. It is possible to experience how outside you – the world – nothing else exists. You are the world. Even if that world is of size of your room. Can you imagine what it's like to be a room? To be a space of the room. When music sounds inside you. You are the music. Do you know what it's like to be the music? When you weave like music. No, not "like" music, because you ARE music. Music plays from your computer in your room. But you are that music. Sanely you understand that this music was already created by someone and that some things exist outside your room. But it's not what you feel. Your experience is shouting – you are the space of the room filled with music and nothing else exists.

Now, imagine yourself going outside. (Outside what? I thought you were telling I was the whole world... – Shhh, there's no place for common sense tonight.) So, you're outside and you see a tree. And you can feel it. You feel how alive tree actually is. And you understand that it is the same being as you are. It is alive. It can feel. It can think. It is said that trees doesn't have consciousness because they don't need it and it would be too painful for them to not be able to do anything and be aware of that. But evolution doesn't care what we need, we have many unnecessary parts. And it definitely doesn't care what is painful for us. Besides, how can we actually know what trees do and don't need? Maybe consciousness to trees is even more necessary than to us. Maybe it is necessary to them BECAUSE they can't move or do anything. Because what else they have to do.

Some people say that consciousness is illusion. Secondary product of evolution. They say that consciousness is only narrator. We (our brain) have already made a decision, but we imagine that we decide by thinking consciously. Maybe consciousness is rudiment product of evolution. For us. But maybe it performs crucially important functions for trees. And it was not disposed in animals, but doesn't do anything important. We think that trees are being tossed by the wind. But maybe it's us being tossed by waves of our subconsciousness.

Some thoughts in this text were inspired by Carlos Castaneda, Alfred Korzybski and Daniel Dennett. Text was born in the amazing writing therapy group.

What I'm thinking of?

My thoughts. No posts. Does it mean I have no thoughts? No, it's just not always easy for me to write it in English. I usually write in Lithuanian, my native language. But I read in English and I write letters in English. So why can't I write my thoughts in English? I can. So here it is. In my first post I will tell, what I'm thinking of at all.

Psychology

I think a lot about psychology. I am graduated psychology bachelor. I like reading psychological books. At the moment I'm reading Tony Attwood "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome". So, I'm thinking about Asperger's syndrome, and also about autism. I see these disorders as fascinating. I would like to meet people having these disorders. And actually I've already met one – my brother. He's 6 years old and he is very smart, especially in math. I think these disorders are actually privileges, talents. Some of these people just need to learn how to use their talent.

I am also interested in various mental disorders and personality disorders. I like reading about them. And if person tells me he/she has some mental disorder, I become really interested. I ask him/her about that, how does it effect him/her. I may also become too much snoopy asking about all this. It's just because I'm really fascinated and interested.

I am interested in consciousness. I've read Jay Ingram "Theatre of the Mind: Pulling Back the Curtain on Consciousness". It's one of my favorite books. There is no particular brain region that is responsible for consciousness. But still, we have it. I mostly relate consciousness to attention. I am also very interested in altered states of consciousness. I think it might be key to answering questions about consciousness.

I am interested in neuropsychology. I like it when our behavior, feelings and thoughts is explained by the processes of the brain. I am mostly interested in activity of neurotransmitters. And, of course, I am interested in drugs that alter those transmitters. It's connected to my interest in altered states of consciousness.

Personality. I even would like to make my own personality theory. Maybe I'll write some thoughts of mine about that too. I am interested in personality types, especially those described by Carl Gustav Jung and also Mayer-Briggs personality types that are derived from Jungian. I myself probably am INTP type. I'm definitely thinking and probably intuitive more than sensing. I like analyzing people by personality types and trying to guess what types are people that I know or that I've just met.

I am interested in synesthesia. I would like to experience synesthesia myself (and I actually already have experienced it once). I am also interested in other perception things, illusions and everything. I sometimes like trying to see 3D objects as 2D or inverse then to other side. It's brain making 2D object to 3D, and it's possible to manipulate this. And it works for me sometimes. Though it's quite hard.

What else I'm thinking of

Philosophy. But it's hard to point out things that I'm interested in this topic, because I don't have much knowledge about it yet. I am only interested. Of course, what's interests me mostly is connected to psychology. For example, I'm interested in psyche problem. Psyche is not material, so where is it? How do we see images or hear sounds. All of these are only waves that become electrical impulses in our brain. And there's nothing more that these. So how can we see real images? Where are those images?

I am also very interested in reality as an illusion thing. Everything is in our brains. And actually we wouldn't know it if someone would just stimulate our brain or it's real experiences. All what Descartes said, everything what's shown in Matrix. It might be true.

Sociology. I am interested in it from the perspective that we live and there are many people around us. But we might even not know what is happening in apartment near us. Sociologists like to "look through keyhole" and it fascinates me. What other people are like? What they are doing? What we don't know? Also, what people from other cultures are. What are differences between cultures? These questions really excites me.

Natural sciences. Mostly physics. But I only read popular science books of it. I've read Stephen Hawking "The Grand Design", Michio Kaku "Physics of the Impossible" and I'm looking forward to reading Lawrence M. Krauss "A Universe from Nothing. Why There is Something Rather Than Nothing". I am also interested in some subjects of biology, especially when it's about brain. And I am also interested in medicine, especially psychiatry.

Parapsychology/esoterics/metaphysics. It might sound weird I'm interested in parapsychology, because I'm interested in science. And I am also an atheist. But I was interested in parapsychology since my childhood, so I don't limit myself to officially accepted science. I raise questions about our existence, about life after life, about god and soul. I am also interested in numerology and tarology, in telepathy and telekinesis. My interest doesn't mean that I believe in everything of that. I just ask questions, and I'm not yet satisfied by officially postulated answers. I try to found out my own answers from my experience.

Psychedelics. It's one of my main interests. But I've already pointed out some of this in psychology section. I am interested in altered states of consciousness, in how psychedelics affect brain and in mystical experiences. I think that psychedelics might answer to many science questions. And it also may have huge effect in people lives, change their life in a better way. And also I already know that most of psychedelics can be used as medicine, not only to cure depression or anxiety, but also for somatic diseases.

That's all for this time. I hope I'll have inspiration to write articles about some subjects I've just mentioned. I really need inspiration and my work depends on it, because I'm INTP type (intuitive).