Changes

Changes come
They always do
It would be a change
To have no changes

In our minds we are all schizophreniacs

Every person is a separate world. A reality bubble. Those reality bubbles sometimes overlap and we think that it's the same world. But it isn't. Our wolds are similar only because we were taught to think like that. Our world was shaped by our parents and society. But it could be different. It could be anything. Limitless world. We hold the same consensus what the world is like. But it's only consensus, and not the world itself. „Map is not the territory.“ Model is not reality. The world doesn't care what our consensus is. It is not how we see it. In reality there is no red, green or blue color. There are only electromagnetic waves. There is no sound. Yes, no sound, no music. Only vibration of air molecules, which we interpret as sound. But it is also possible to SEE that vibration. To see the music. To touch the music. To taste the music. To smell. To feel. To get burned from music.

Anyway, what is reality? Does it exist? Is there such a thing as objective reality? How could we see it? How could we experience the world as it is? Or maybe we have to try to be the world ourselves? It's interesting feeling, I have tried that. You are the world and everything is inside you, nothing exists outside. It's probably hard to sanely imagine how can there be nothing. But I haven't said that I felt that sanely. It is possible to experience how outside you – the world – nothing else exists. You are the world. Even if that world is of size of your room. Can you imagine what it's like to be a room? To be a space of the room. When music sounds inside you. You are the music. Do you know what it's like to be the music? When you weave like music. No, not "like" music, because you ARE music. Music plays from your computer in your room. But you are that music. Sanely you understand that this music was already created by someone and that some things exist outside your room. But it's not what you feel. Your experience is shouting – you are the space of the room filled with music and nothing else exists.

Now, imagine yourself going outside. (Outside what? I thought you were telling I was the whole world... – Shhh, there's no place for common sense tonight.) So, you're outside and you see a tree. And you can feel it. You feel how alive tree actually is. And you understand that it is the same being as you are. It is alive. It can feel. It can think. It is said that trees doesn't have consciousness because they don't need it and it would be too painful for them to not be able to do anything and be aware of that. But evolution doesn't care what we need, we have many unnecessary parts. And it definitely doesn't care what is painful for us. Besides, how can we actually know what trees do and don't need? Maybe consciousness to trees is even more necessary than to us. Maybe it is necessary to them BECAUSE they can't move or do anything. Because what else they have to do.

Some people say that consciousness is illusion. Secondary product of evolution. They say that consciousness is only narrator. We (our brain) have already made a decision, but we imagine that we decide by thinking consciously. Maybe consciousness is rudiment product of evolution. For us. But maybe it performs crucially important functions for trees. And it was not disposed in animals, but doesn't do anything important. We think that trees are being tossed by the wind. But maybe it's us being tossed by waves of our subconsciousness.

Some thoughts in this text were inspired by Carlos Castaneda, Alfred Korzybski and Daniel Dennett. Text was born in the amazing writing therapy group.

My old verses (back from 2011-2013)

The first one "Darkness" was created for my friend. It's actually a song.

Darkness

Oh, the lord of the darkness
Come and tame my soul
Oh, the lord of the darkness
I'm begging you for help
And oh, the lord of the darkness
Save me from the light

Darkness is coming to the world
Shadows are taking over me
Lightness never win
Only dark side will survive

Oh, the lord of the darkness
Come and tame my soul
Oh, the lord of the darkness
I'm begging you for help
And oh, the lord of the darkness
Save me from the light

Fighting for darkness in the world
Killing the lightness from inside
Darkness coming here
I will never ever die

Oh, the lord of the darkness
Come and tame my soul
Oh, the lord of the darkness
I'm begging you for help
And oh, the lord of the darkness
Save me from the light

Oh, the lord of the darkness
Come and tame my soul
Oh, the lord of the darkness
I'm begging you for help
And oh, the lord of the darkness
Save me from the light
Save me from the light

The second one was created when we were waiting for the end of the world in December 2012. It's also a song. I have Lithuanian version for it as well.

The End

The end, the end of the world
Inevitable
It will come tomorrow day
Inevitable

So live, just live in this day
In the moment of now
Because tomorrow will not come
The end of the world

Two, two thousand and twelve
The end of the world
It will come tomorrow day
So live in today

Sleepless Midnight

My dreams are going through
The highest thoughts I've ever had
And sleepless night is coming down
To see if I'm alright again.

Who cares I'm dead or live
Who knows what am I doing now
Nobody knows I'm now asleep
And there's no one caring what I'm going through.

Where do I go right now?
What do I do today, tomorrow?
What is my path of life?
And what's the meaning of all this?

If you could tell me now
What will be in the future
What is there waiting for me
And what I'll have to undergo.

But wait, just stop, don't tell me
It would be so boring knowing
What happens in the future
I'll better try to improvise
And simple live my life.

My handwriting

Vintage envelope

I bought old looking envelopes from local small things shop and decorated it with washi tape and address labels. I like it.

I actually enjoy things from that shop. You can get cute things for really cheap prices. I bought those envelopes for only 0,10€ for 10 of them.

Envelopes 2016

These are my envelopes from 2016. Some of them I only decorated, and some I did myself.

Some hand made stuff I didn't posted for a while

This is hand made calendar of 2015 May. I think it was the best of all that I did. Just a paper, pencils, felt-tips, washi tape and sticker. :)

Also a birthday card for my grandmother. I used washi tape and textile tape. Also a beautiful sticker that I got from one of my pen pals.

And another birthday card – this one is newest. For my friend. I used existing card and sticked some washi tape and stickers.









Sadly, I didn't photographed all the cards that I made and they are already gone to their receivers, so you won't be able to see them.